What i feel inside

My heart is broken

All my scars are open

I feel like running away right now

Let me be and let me heal

Langkah bendul

This morning my brother called home to talk to my mom. They had like a 20 minute conversation. I was upstairs doing my work. Went down to have breakfast and suddenly my mom told me this

Mama: Adik kata he wants to get married lepas dia habis belajar. He said dia tak nak kawin lambat *by time he finishes his studies he will be 27, hence i will be 28*

Me: Say what Ma?

Mama: Ye kak, dia nak kawin lepas belajar *with her facial expression yang sgt disappointed*

Me: *dalam hati said* Confirm la adik aku langkah bendul aku ni. -__-''

OMG, what will happen to me if he really gets married first?????

Missed it!

I got up this morning feeling rather funny. It felt that that i missed/was missing something. More like the feeling of that there's was something that i needed to do. Couldn't think of that particular task that i was supposed to do that spur moment and deep down my heart said that that particular task was really REALLY important.

By 9am i was already infront of my lappie. Thesis related files were already opened (Fb, blog, semua pun bukak jugak la kan. Tu wajib. Rutin harian.Haha). Anyway, today i tergerak hati sangat to open up my portal at the School of Graduate Studies website. Was scrolling the web page till i saw a DATELINE that i TOTALLY FORGOT!. I TOTALLY FORGOT that i've got submit my thesis progress report online!. At that moment, i was so worried, upset , my mood for thesis today was disturbed and macam2 la. Macam mana la boleh jadi macam ni? Haihhh

FYI, i tak penah lupa nak submit my report online before the dateline during previous sems. So yea, called up the SGS office. Was asked to write a surat rayuan. To make it short, i type the letter and drove straight to UPM. Was told that the portal will be re-opened again by this week. Felt relieved but then again, this was unnecessary if i was more alert. Yea, to be more ALERT like when my Blackberry go beep beep even when i'm sleeping. Tu lagi satu hal, additive stuff.

I've learned my lesson for today. From today onwards, i've got to jot down everything on my organizer. Takpun, put all important dates on my BB and to check them EVERY SINGLE DAY. Anyway, i'm taking today on a positive note as getting/being MORE STRESS DOES NOT make things easier for me. I guess that a little stress is good to push one's self but NOT TOO much that it can't be handled.

To : FARAH WAHIDA ZA'ABA

This post is dedicated to you. And if you're reading this, lets finish up our thesis A.S.A.P shall we? I cannot tahan already lar! Haha :)

P/s: i think i need to go run esok as i've not been running since monday, i think i need new high heels as i missed hunting for oh so pretty shoes, and i think i'm craving for that brownie cheesecake at La Manila

Emotion

Terasa emotional pulak today. Thanks to Cik P yang datang sering mengunjungi ku every month. Tu takpe, dia suka buat i craving macam2 benda. Brownie cheese cake la, waffle la, goreng pisang la, keropok lekor la and macam2. Kalau seminggu sebelum Cik P datang lagi la teruk my cravings. aduhai, kalau dah pregnant nanti ntah macam mana la kan. Haha. Ni pun dok tengah typing ni tengah kunyah almond cookies mama buat semalam. Bukan sebab craving sgt pun tapi sebab belum makan ape lagi. Ha, nak jadikan cerita bila Cik P datang first day dia suka buat i tak berapa nak makan, mungkin sebab dia dah bagi i chance bedal macam2 kot? Hahah

Tapi cerita Cik P ni bukan la main topic sgt to today's post. Ok la mungkin sket la sebab emosi harini dipengaruhi oleh Cik P gak sebab dia suka main2 ngn emosi i sampai hormones dalam badan saya ni meronta2. Haih...kau ni Cik P. Pasal kau gak la aku tak dapat nak run 6KM pagi tadi. Dan sekarang emosi aku aku tak stabil macam zarah2 yang sedang bergerak secara rawak tau. Ishhh

Bila dah emosi ni macam2 la fikir kan. Hati pun jadi bunga2, jadi sensitive. Tapi boleh cover lagi la. Kalau kat rumah tak boleh nak cover sgt sebab bila tgk drama sedih, boleh menangis sampai mata lebam. Pastu terigt plak kisah2 zaman lampau. Haihh..overacting sungguh la. Tapi tetiba plak macam terasa macam i might have fallen for someone. Kkdg rasa macam a 17 year old girl plak nak fall2 for someone. Tapi perasaan tu bukan je harini. Tapi sejak 1st day rasa macam tu. OMG. sangat pelik. Hari2 selalu nk deny kan feeling tu.. Tapi makin lama makin.......

Sangat emotional la harini. Tetiba terasa yang trip to Liverpool tu satu idea yang baik untuk diriku. Nak tengok gak sape yang paling concern terhadap diriku yang cute ni.Eh, cute plak. dah.OK nak pegi makan! Bye!

Everybody needs a little time away

A ticket to Liverpool has been purchased. Leaving on the 13th of dec at 2am. Insya-Allah. Flying on Emirates. A very needed holiday. A time for myself to think about myself. Perlu fikir pasal kesudahan masters, career, activiti2 larian dan kisah cinta. Cant' wait. Mama cakap. "pegi la holiday tu.jumpa adik. Go rilex your mind and enjoy yourself. Lari2 tu semua next year boleh start balik". Baik la ratu hatiku. Kekadang bagus gak bila berjauhan dengan orang yang rapat2 dengan kita ni. Tengok diorang ingat/rindu tak kat kita ni kan? Hahah

However, im so gonna miss my running sessions. Yelah, kat sana nak lari cam mana? SEJOK kot?.Makan2 jelah. Penuh la kamisukamakanbest punya blog page with my posts on good food when i'm there nanti. Confirm team kamisukanbest suka. Hahah. So yeah!. Excited nak pegi. Dan paling excited masa Boxing day nanti..SHOPPING!


p/s:

• semalam pencinta kasut pegi lari 22km. Tapi last 5km pencinta kasut terpaksa berjalan sebab kaki cramp sampai terduduk jap kat atas jalanraya. ahaha.
• Pencinta kasut have been getting weird dreams lately. Oh my!..
  

Our Food Blog

My course mates and i decided to create a food blog since we love adventuring good food at fun places. The blog will be written in Bahasa Malaysia mainly. However, posts in English will also be featured once in awhile. Pardon the layout of the page as it's still under construction. You know la how busy postgraduates are (but in our case, we tend to get easily distracted by the existence of good food.LOL).

Anyways, please welcome our food blog

KAMISUKAMAKANBEST

Which simply means, we love eating good food. Haha

Pilot entry has been done by one of my fellow foodies. Will update on our regarding our Dim Sum feast at Quality Hotel Shah Alam. So stay tuned and do follow our food blog ;)

Sneak preview of the session ;)

p/s: suka kasut, suka lari and suka makan also

Hilang Konsentrasi

Wednesday it is today


*hm ,kalau time degree dulu hari rabu selalunya keluar pegi tengok wayang ataupun main bowling takpun lepak kat rafi sampai lebam*

Macam biasa la, my day will start off with breakfast with the parents.Makan2, borak2, gelak2, pastu kekadang tu boleh macam argue2 sket..tapi lepas tu baik balik..So lepas tu mengadap plak laptop penuh ngn open files untuk buat thesis. Meja plak bersepah ngan printed articles untuk dibuat reference. Jenuh, letih, nyampah, meluat semua ada. Tapi satu je yang menjadi my motivation sekarang

"bersusah-susah dahulu,bersenang-senang kemudian"

yes, saya nak merasa the sweetness of success tu. Tak sabar rasanya. Jiwa hari2 meronta. Tapi takpe, belum sampai tahap meroyan lagi. Tak kisah la orang nak cakap i ni lambat ke, macam siput ke nak siapkan thesis. Tak kisah la, i WILL reach that finish line soon. Ha, macam bila masuk race berlari la, tak kisah la kalau terstop kejap ke sebab nak kena berlari naik bukit takpun stop kejap sebab naik minum air. JANJI sampai finish line.

Ok, tipu la kan kalau i kata kalau ni sangat focus ngan thesis 24 jam kan. Ni pun dah start blog ni pun dah tanda2 hilang konsentrasi. Kononnya otak tepu la kan..Tak boleh nak fikir the ight and strong words to construct a paragraph (ceh, kekadang, sebaris ayat pun terkial2 nak buat). Oh well, i can be a perfectionist at times. Tapi bila draft dah sampai kat tangan Supervisor yang juga Timbalan Dekan Fakulti, takde la perfect mana pun..Dah tu, hantar pun kat perfectionist kan. Sape la kita ni kan. Haihh..Takpe2, but im learning from the best, so harap2 nanti grad pun jadi the BEST jugak la..Mudah-mudahan.AMIN..

Tapi sebenarnya, hari ni i stumbled upon a few blogs yang menarik. I find their blogs very expressive. I love how they write their blogs. Dalam bahasa jiwa bangsa ada, dalam English pun ada. Nama blog pun menarik/unique.Sangat best kot. Tu yang hilang konsentrasi tu.

"Aku
tidak tulis puisi
kerana hidup aku
ialah puisi"

Dari blog: PINTUSUKAHATI

Suka sangat line "kerana hidup aku ialah puisi". Mesti jiwa kental tapi hati lembut orang ni. hahaha. jangan marah eh si blogger post ni. Hidup saya juga seperti anda. Tapi bukan puisi la, tapi dramatic. ;). Another interesting fact about this blog is that it is shared by 9 people. So u get to read blogposts from each 9 of them.

"Aku mahu pergi jauh,
Hilang dalam kelam perlahan-lahan,
Tergelam dalam laut seperti sauh,
perlahan-lahan tanpa di tahan..."


Dari blog: Blog Orang Otak Kosong

Saya mahu pergi jauh. Pergi merehatkan minda. Tiket dah beli yeay!. Haih, blogger blog orang tak kosong, awak nak pegi mana jauh2 tu? hehe

"Budu dan Belacan: busuk tapi sedap"

That's her (Su Anna Joe) blog title. Haha. Tapi betul ape, dua2 pun busuk. Tapi bila dah kena nasi panas damnn! sedap kan? lagi2 kalau ada plak ikan keli bakar and ulam...oh my, yum yum. hihi

Blog yang best utk dibaca. Do visit her blog SU ANNA JOE. A blogger mom, a photographer and she is also stylish!

OK!, idea nak writing dah datang balik! Kembali ke reality!

p/s: rindu power rangers merah

Food blog

A project by:




KAKI MAKAN






COMING SOON

Inspiring

I LOVE THIS!

This is something that i've been searching for all this while. A "running girl" pendant". It's so ME la!...Can someone please surprise me with this? :)



Link:

TARMA DESIGNS

Concern

How would u feel if there's someone who constantly follows your blog?

How would you feel when someone messages you personally after reading your blog and asked on how you are feeling?

I feel that person is so aware of my happenings, concern at the same time although we don't get to see each other often.

But one thing for sure is when get to see that person, i feel very much happy. Like an adrenaline rush while running


So its all smiles today.


To you if you are reading this, you just made my day

:)

All Cried Out

Pencinta kasut has never cried so much before

Time Off

I feel numb today.

Let time tell.

Let time heal

One way to divert the distractions are to focus on what i'm doing and keep on running to clear my mind, clear my thoughts

I need time for myself. I need time to re-analyze. I need time to refresh.


Dear god, please grant me the strength. Guide me to the right path.

AMIN

Cinta bukan sedekah

Kalau hati dah tak ada CINTA

I was having a conversation about love with a friend. Not really close. But i guess sometimes it's best to talk to someone yang macam ala2 stranger. Ada orang cakap kalau bercerita tentang ape2 je to someone dalam bus ke dalam train ke kat taman mana2 ke, u will feel relieved for a moment plus after that you won't see that person anymore kan? Tapi lagi best kalau bila bercerita kat orang tu pasal whatever is in your mind and that he/she understands you. Ala, cerita je, lg pun after that you won't be seeing that person anymore kan? Confirm la lps tu dia lupa. Tapi in my case orang yg share cerita ni i akan jumpa gak la...tapi not often.

I was talking (chatting on fb would be more appropriate i guess) to this person. Asked for some opinions and all. And suddenly this statement popped out.

CINTA BUKAN SEDEKAH. KALAU KESIAN THEN IT'S WRONG

Oh damn, tersentap sekejap. Am i already in that stage?. My mom kept on asking on what's wrong with me. But i know that she knows. But she did told me that to think about it properly and she asked me to keep my options open and to open up my mind.

What is wrong with me? Maybe it has been too long la. Sometimes i just need the space for myself. Or maybe i need someone that is compatible like me. A reflection of me maybe. Tak banyak tapi sikit pun jadi la. I definitely one to spend my whole life with someone that could share lots of things with me. Am i asking for too much? Maybe.

p/s:Tapi cintaku terhadap kasut adalah abadi

Forget and be forgotten

Bagai kacang lupakan kulit


Sometime we forget on where we stand. Pepatah melayu kata lupa daratan

Ceh, ni apehal plak tetiba emo ni?.

Hm, teringat kisah silam kot. Sebab tak semestinya orang tu akan baik/ingat kat kita kalau kita terlalu baik hati atau seangkatan dengannya dengan orang tu

I've experienced this lots of times. Tak kisah la relative sendiri ke, kawan-kawan ke or "kawan karib selamanya" a.ka. bff (best friend forever)

Will u know if someone would do that to you?. I can


TEKAD

Saya, CikFiraTirona bertekad untuk tidak masuk apa2 race mulai bulan depan sehingga tahun depan. Sekian.

SHOPPING

Rasa macam nak beli spek baru la.. Oh well, i have this long term relationship with this thing. Rasa-rasanya relationship for LIFE!. Kalau rasa2 macam nak ada rupa macam Eva Longoria ke, Kim Kardashian ke, pakai la contact lens yg berkaler2 tu atau pakai jenis yang bagi effect mata besar macam doll tu. Oh well, di sebalik kanta lekap tu semua. Ku tetap NERD. Ala-ala macam cerita Ugly Betty tu.. Haip! .Favourite saya tu ok?!.Hahah.Siap beli ada collection lagi sampai season 4. ;)

Rasa jugak macam nak beli kasut baru. Me wants to get new pair of Wedge shoe la. Yang ada tu tapak macam nak tercabut je ala2 seperti nk say SAYONARA to me. I really like that wedge, kasi effect yang sexy pada diri i..Oppps,, terover plak!. Hahahah

1 NOv 2010

Hello November! Pls be kind to me.. thanks! :)